A good friend is there for you through everything. Your best friends stick by your side even when you’ve been involved with someone who has specifically tried to distance you from your friends. You experience life together, and they love you unconditionally. They are your tribe, your ride or die. Like Thelma and Louise. Like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. Or Jess and Cece. But sometimes your friends aren’t the best resource for every situation.
Your friends are always there for moral support, for venting, to hold your hair back when you are sick, and to bring a gallon of ice cream with two spoons when you need it. But now, you have survived things that are well above their area of expertise. So, while your friends are still an important part of your life, this is a time when you need more than a gallon of moose tracks and a girl’s weekend.
When you are untangling your life from a toxic relationship, sometimes the help of a professional is the best choice for healing and moving forward. Sometimes friends aren’t the best resource for handling a toxic relationship. In this blog post we will discuss the advantages of working with a professional instead of relying on friends, how coaching is different than therapy, and some of the benefits of professional coaching.
Your Friends Have Been Through Their Own Shit
Just like you, your friends have been through their own shit. They have been living their life, navigating personality shaping experiences. They have been raised by imperfect parents, and hurt by friends, lovers, and classmates. Your friends have struggled with their own self-worth. And they have been caught up in their own heads about issues.
And why wouldn’t they? They are regular people navigating a world full of diverse people and unique experiences. In fact, it is probably the imperfections of your friends that makes you love them so much. You have spent your friendship bonding and connecting over shared interests and experiences but also over the quirky things that happen in day-to-day life.
The Difference Between Confiding in Friends and Working with a Professional
The difference – and it’s a huge difference – is that we have been through training on how to help people without bringing those personal experiences into the guidance we provide. The reality is that no matter how much your friends and family have your best interests at heart, they cannot help but bring their own life experiences into the advice that they give. It is inherent in human nature to do so, as far back as time goes.
If you are navigating life after getting yourself out of a toxic relationship, getting advice from someone like a friend may not be the most helpful no matter how good their intentions are. They might still be struggling in their own difficult relationships or affected by earlier relationships. Although their advice is well-intentioned, it might not be the best advice for you.
Coaching is Different Than Therapy
While both of us are licensed clinical psychotherapists with private practices, I Grew Strong is coaching, not therapy. However, we use our professional training, techniques, and knowledge to help you think about things in a different way. To achieve the results that you want to achieve.
We found this explanation in Entrepreneur magazine, “The biggest difference in coaching and counseling is the difference in approaches. Life coaches focus on creating a new life path to achieve certain goals. They help you introspect and help you find your solutions. They focus on the now and what’s next. Whereas counselors focus on specific problems in hand and look into emotional resolutions to past problems to move forward, finding solutions to those specific problems, while making ‘healing’ as one of the main objectives.”
This aligns with our goals and our Finding More Me coaching program. Our coaching helps you learn about yourself and develop tools to keep you from going through the same toxic relationships repeatedly. In some instances, we find that a potential program participant is not ready for Finding More Me and you would be better served by a therapist. In that instance, we will recommend that they find a therapist that they like and do that emotional work before taking part in something like Finding More Me.
Professional Boundaries and Confidentiality
Whether you work with a therapist or a coach, there are professional boundaries. It is true that our own individual experiences with toxic partners was part of our inspiration for I Grew Strong. However, we have the professional training to separate our feelings and firsthand experiences from the information that we share with our clients. To help you when friends aren’t the best resource for your situation.
We focus on helping you create positive outcomes for a story in which we do not play a role. We are not part of the story, like a friend might be. And we have no personal connection to your future other than wanting you to live the life that you want to live. We are not judging you or bringing our own view of you into our teaching. Well, aside from believing that you are an amazing human deserving of living your best life.
Whether we are working with clients in our private practices or in our Finding More Me coaching program, our interactions are entirely confidential. You can share openly and honestly without worrying that your experiences and thoughts will wind up the stuff of rumor mills. Your words will not get used against you or find their way back to people in your life. All the work that you do is 100% confidential.
Conclusion
Rebuilding your life, reframing your thoughts, becoming strong is something a lot of people struggle to achieve. Some people never achieve living the life they really, truly dream about living. And no matter how good their intentions are, they will bring that mindset into the advice they give. As you seek to live a life of freedom that they too likely want for themselves, your friends or family could have some subconscious blocks that keep them from offering objective guidance. Those blocks make it so that friends aren’t the best resource to always give you the best advice.
We do not want that for you. We want to help as many people as we can reach to live the life they really, genuinely want to live. And we have the experiences, the mindset, and the training, to help you get there. To learn more about how we can help you, and be a resource better than relying on friends, join our email list.